


All It Takes Is Sixty Seconds

by QuakesSquare



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Cute James Rogers, F/M, Family, Parent Natasha Romanov, Parent Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Team as Family, This will be angsty then fluffy and total emotional rollercoaster, capwidow - Freeform, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuakesSquare/pseuds/QuakesSquare
Summary: He was supposed to see her in a minute so they could spend a lifetime together. I'm not very good a summaries, but this is a SteveNat through out the five years and what I wished would've happened in Endgame.
Relationships: Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers - Relationship, Past Sharon Cater/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, past Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 11
Kudos: 154





	1. A Minute Too Late

**APRIL 2023**

“See you in a minute.” She smiled at him so hopeful and with that he believed that everything would be okay. If he had known that was going to be the last time he saw her, he would’ve kissed her one last time or told her he loved her. They all went on their perspective missions and landed back on the Quantum Tunnel, all except one. The one that mattered the most to him, his partner, his best friend, the woman who stood by his side when no one else did. The woman who was there for him everyday for the past eleven years was gone. Natasha was gone.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked, worry in his voice.

Clint looked to Steve and he swore he felt his heart stop. He let out a shaky breath. He couldn't believe it and was in too much shock to speak. He looked down and heard Bruce drop to his knees and punch the landing pad. Still, Steve was motionless more frozen than he had been during those sixty-six years in the ice.

The room was quiet and slowly everyone started to walk away. Those who only knew Natasha for a short amount of time like Scott and Rocket were heartbroken as well. Scott turned to Steve before walking off knowing the feeling of losing his own _True Partner_ and spoke gently, “Captain uh...Steve, I’m sorry…” Steve didn’t answer and a lump formed in his throat. He turned to Scott and nodded solemnly before looking back down. 

Tears welled up in his eyes as he stood in silence with Tony, Thor, Bruce, Clint and Rhodey. 

Tony gently placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Cap, why don’t you get cleaned up? We can talk by the lake when you’re ready."

Steve nodded and Rhodey was the next to comfort him. He had tears in his eyes too, he had become one of Natasha’s closest friends over the past thirteen years. They formed a strong bond and were the only two that stayed in contact throughout the years, especially while Steve, Nat, and Sam were on the run from the government. However, they grew closer these past five years post decimation. Rhodey pulled Steve into a hug and Steve sobbed over his shoulder. “You know I’m here for you man.” Rhodey said softly. 

“Thanks Jim.” He said trying to hold himself together then slowly made his way back to his room, the room he shared with Natasha for the past five years. He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He remembered all the times Natasha shaved his beard and cut his hair. He pictured her smile, the smile he knew she only had for him and broke down once more.

A few hours later Steve composed himself, and walked out to the edge of the compound onto a small dock and sat on a bench.

“Do we know if she had family?” Tony asked him.

“Yeah. Us.” He spoke defensively, fighting tears. It had been the first words he spoke. Tony sat up from where he was sitting next to Steve and walked over to the middle of the dock.

“What?!” Thor confronted Tony. “What, what are you doing?”

“I just asked him a question.”

“No! You’re acting like she’s dead! Why are we acting like she’s dead?” Thor stated in denial. “We have the stones right?” He said then turned to Steve. “As long as we have the stones, Cap we  
can bring her back? Isn’t that right? So, stop this shit we’re The Avengers so get it together!” Steve dropped his head and more tears streamed down his cheeks.

Thor was desperate and after losing his brother he couldn’t bear the thought of losing anyone else. Natasha was like a younger sister to him. The two had their share of inside jokes and bonded over a few bottles of beer from time to time. 

“We can’t get her back.” Clint stated.

Thor turned to him. “Wha...wha...what?”

“It can’t be undone.” Clint paused. “It can’t.”

Thor laughed hysterically. “Look, I’m sorry. No offense, but you’re a very Earthly being, okay? We’re talking about space magic here. And _can’t_ seems definite, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, look I know that I’m way out of my pay grade here. But, she still isn’t here, is she?”

“No, that’s my point.” Thor replied.

“It can’t be undone. Or that’s at least what the red floating guy had to say.” Clint stated angrily. “Maybe you wanna go talk to him! Go grab your hammer and you go fly, and you talk to him!” 

Clint looked away from Thor to Steve who was still crying silently the tears not stopping anytime soon. “It should’ve been me. She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it.”

Steve looked at Clint with tears in his eyes. “I don't understand. Why would she do it?”

“She said that it was because I have a family. I have Laura and the kids. She told me I needed to come home, for them.”

“Natasha has a family too.” Steve answered as a tear fell from his cheek.

“We know, Cap. You just said it. Us. We were her family.” Tony restated.

“No, I'm talking about James!”

“James?" Thor questioned.

"Who's James?” Clint asked.

Steve set his jaw trying his best not to cry any harder. “Our son. He's inside waiting for his mother to come home so she can read to him!”

“Your son? You and Nat had a son? I didn’t know.”

“Of course you wouldn't know. You were off God knows where, doing what?” _Murdering._

“Okay, Cap. Calm down.” Tony said placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder. He knew that they were together, everyone knew. But, he and Bruce were the only two on the team who knew about  
James besides Rhodey. 

Steve ignored Tony. “You broke her heart Barton. And it broke mine, watching as she desperately searched for you. For five years I watched the woman I love sit at her desk and cry because she lost her best friend. I know it was harding losing your wife and children. I can't imagine what you went through, but they were her family too.”

“I know Steve. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He cried.

“AHHH!!!” Bruce yelled and threw a bench into the lake. “She’s not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to.”

“How can you say that Bruce?” Steve questioned. “You of all people can recall how important she is.”

Bruce looked to Steve remembering everything the talk they had a Tony’s party back in 2015, when Steve told him not to wait too long and go for it with Natasha. Bruce felt like he messed up then but today of all days, he realized that Steve and Natasha were meant to be. 

“You’re right, we have to try and get her back.” 

Steve wiped the tears from his eyes and finally stood up. He had to stay strong. For Natasha. For James. “We will.” 

Steve took a deep breath and walked back inside the compound. Now comes the hard part he told himself. 

“Daddy!” James smiled and ran to his father.

Steve lifted the tall four year old into his arms. “There you are.” He held his son tightly, fighting tears.

“You’re squishing me!” James giggled. “Is mommy back?”

Steve sat down and put James on his lap. He didn’t know how to tell the boy his mother was gone. “No.” He said, pushing a lock of red hair from his son’s face.

“Where is she?” He asked curiously. “She promised me a story when she came back.”

Steve couldn’t put in any other way, so he spoke gently. “I’m afraid mommy’s not coming back James.”

“Why?” The child asked looking straight into his father’s identical blue eyes. “Does she not love me anymore?”

“No, of course not.” Steve’s heart shattered into a million pieces. “You know mommy loves you with all her heart. You’re her entire world. You mean everything to her.”

“Then why isn’t she coming back?”

“She did something very brave and…” Steve didn’t know how else to put it so he spoke the truth gently. “We lost her.”

“You can find her if she’s lost.” James said confidently. “Like when Dodger," their dog "got lost you found him.”

“This is a different kind of lost.”

“So you can’t get her back?”

“I don't think so bud.”

James' blue eyes watered and he sobbed loudly into his father’s chest and screamed for his mother. “I want mommy!”

Steve stayed strong for his son but hearing James in so much pain broke him. “I know Jamey.” Steve said as he rubbed his sons' back.

"I want mommy to come home!" James sobbed louder. "I promise when mommy comes home I'll listen more daddy. I'll brush my teeth and eat my broccoli when you say so. I won't be a bad boy  
anymore." Hearing all of that broke Steve even more than he already was.

"James, you're not a bad boy, okay?" Steve said soothingly. "It's not your fault." He said lifting his son's chin up so he could look into his piercing blue eyes.

James sniffled and buried his head back into his father's chest before crying himself to sleep and slept for the rest of the afternoon. Steve held his son protectively in his arms and James woke up a few hours later, his eyes were still swollen and red from crying. “Can you make me a peanut butter sandwich? Those are mommy’s favorite.”

“Sure thing.” Steve said and carried James into the kitchen and lifted him up onto the counter.

James watched as his father made the sandwich, spreading the peanut butter onto the bread and cutting the crust off the way he liked.

“How’s that?” Steve said cutting the sandwich into four squares.

“Mommy does it better.” James stated innocently.

“I know she does.” Steve smiled reassuring his son.

James finished eating his sandwich and Steve lifted him off the counter and took him to his room.

“Okay, time for bed little man.”

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Sure.” Steve said still holding his son.

They walked into Steve and Natasha’s room and Steve placed James onto the bed.

“Can you sing to me?” The boy asked.

“Sing to you?” Steve asked getting onto his side of the bed.

“Yeah, mommy always sings me to sleep.”

“I don’t know all the words to that lullaby, bud.” Steve sighed. “Remember I told you I don’t know much Russian?”

"Yeah." He looked at his father sadly.

"I'll try, okay. Just for you."

James cuddled with Steve as he tried his best to sing the song. When he finished Steve apologized to him for not knowing all the lyrics.

“It’s okay, daddy. I know you tried.” James said then made his way to Natasha's side of the bed. James stretched his long skinny arms and legs. He laid on his stomach his head on his mother’s pillow taking in her sweet scent.

“You know, there’s plenty of room here if you wanna cuddle?”

“No, it’s okay.” James replied. “I’ll sleep on mommy’s side. That way when she comes back it will be nice and warm.”

“Jamey, I don’t think she’s coming back.” 

“Why would you say that daddy?" James asked. "You know mommy never leaves for long.”

“James, I’m trying to explain to you that mommy is really gone.” 

“No, she’s not! STOP LYING DADDY!” James shouted.

“I’m not lying to you son, I would never lie to you.” 

“ Then STOP!" James cried. 

"Oh buddy." Steve pulled his son close. "I'm sorry." 

"Try and find her daddy." James sniffed. "You have to find mommy..." 

"I will buddy, I'll try." 

"You promise?"

"I promise." Steve whispered and kissed his son's messy red hair.

“Good night daddy.”

"Good night Jamey. I love you." 

"I love you too." James said softly, as tears continued to stain his father's t-shirt.

Steve’s heart shattered into a million pieces as he rubbed his son's back, helping James to fall asleep. It broke him, because James was only an innocent child, he was too young. He didn't deserve this, he needed his mother. He should have a mother right now. It hurt Steve even more that James didn’t understand their new reality. James didn't understand, his mother was gone and that made it hard for Steve to sleep much that night, he couldn’t believe Natasha was gone. They were only supposed to be separated for a minute, but now he feared they would be separated forever. He thought about all they had gone through. He knew he should've gone with her, but he trusted her and her instincts. He knew she was a strong, but he wondered in her lasts moments if she feared death. She always told him, _I'm the Black Widow, and not even death could take that away from me._

 _Shit!_ He thought, _What the fuck, Nat. Why am I always a minute too late?_


	2. On The Run (2016)

It all started that fateful May 1, 2012. The day Steve Rogers met his friend, his partner, and love of his life Natasha Romanoff. Life hadn’t been easy for the Man out of time since: “the whole defrosting thing” as many called it, but Natasha had always been by his side. From their first encounter a brief, “Ma’am.” “Hi.” while Agent Coulson fanboyed over the famous Super Soldier to his final moments Steve held Natasha in his heart always. 

Maybe it really all started when he crashed the plane in the arctic back in 1945. Everything he knew: gone, his friends, home, even the woman who he considered the love of his life. Still, everything happens for a reason, even though he didn’t know it yet. But he thinks maybe it really started here.

**AUGUST 2016 - Tajikistan, Central Asia ******

********

********

Steve, Natasha, and Sam were still hunting down leads who were selling illegal Chitari parts from the Battle of New York. It was crazy how long it was taking them to find pieces from an event that happened over four years ago. Nothing was going right when it came to the mission but they found much peace and serenity during this time. But today wasn’t one of those days. Natasha yanked off the hijab she had one when they got inside their small two bedroom apartment.

“Im fine Nat.” Steve winced as Natasha cuts off his sleeve. “It’s just a gunshot wound.”

“As opposed to what an amputation? Sit down.” She says as she discovers that the wound is much worse than they previously thought. “Sam, I need you to get me the med pack in the bathroom!”

“On it” sam says and goes to the med pack

“Apply pressure Steve while I wash my hands.”

Steve applies the pressure and jokingly says “Yes doctor Romanoff.”

When Sam runs out Natasha takes a gauze from him and begins to bandage Steve’s shoulder. The bullet penetrated skin and caused a huge whole. Natasha’s hands were soft and delicate as she gently covered his body. When she was finished she patted his knee gently.

“Thanks Nat.” He murmured.

“You’re welcome. Just don't mess that gauze up Rogers.”

“Yes ma'am.”

Fifteen minutes later Steve came out after taking a well deserved shower in a pair of Nike sweats and white Hanes tank top. “New mission reports?” He asked Natasha who was fiddling with a tablet.

“Yeah, Rhodey sent us some new intel.” She sighed. “But, there doesn’t seem to be anything on it.”

“Let me see, I remember Rhodey sending me some codes a few weeks ago.” Natasha gave Steve a look. “All in secrecy of course.” Steve said as NAtasHa passed him an outdated iPad.

Steve types in a random code word and they are in the system.

“So what are we looking at?”

“These are all the locations where these illegal arms deals have been taking place. When do you need to check in with [Everett] Ross?”

“Soon, but this doesn't look right. It must be a decoy the system has not been updated in over a year.”

“Well, let me check with Agent May she’s underground. I can see if Agent Johnson can crack these codes.”

“Okay.” She closes the iPad and sets it down, how's your arm?”

“Better now thanks to you.”

“I know you’re Captain America, but you don’t need to be taking everyone out on your own.”

“Is that an order.”

Natasha gave him an uncanny look that spoke YES!

But Steve Rogers was a stubborn son of a bitch and didn’t take orders all that well. Not even a week later they were in the same predicament, but this time it was even worse.

“Cap?” Sam looked at his best friend in dismay. “You’re bleeding into your mash…”

Steve looked up at his friend with a fork in his right hand as he was mid bite. “And…”

“That’s just gross man…” Sam replied disgusted, his stomach too queasy to eat his own food.

“Steve, I told you to clean your face.” Natasha added.

“I’m fine Nat, it doesn’t hurt that much anyways.” Steve replied as blood dripped off of his lips. He’d been stabbed on the cheek by a medium size blade earlier in the day and his left eye took a hard punch. Even Though it had been a few hours, he was still bleeding profusely.

“Yeah, I’m definitely not hungry.” Sam replied.

“Sam,” Natasha warned and handed Steve a kitchen towel to stop the bleeding.

Steve took the towel from her and pressed it against his face gently.

Later that day Natasha stood by the window starring out into the distance.

“That’s a nice window are you gonna stare at it all night?” Steve said jokingly.

“Yeah, maybe if I do, it will turn into a tropical paradise.” Natasha said putting on a brave smile, turning around to see him drinking water. “How was your run?”

“It was alright, Sam’s still out there somewhere...he couldn’t keep up.”

“He came in already, he's asleep. You were gone for like two hours.”

“I guess I wandered off.” Steve replied then studied Natasha’s expression. He wasn’t a spy, but he could tell something was off about her. “Everything okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, I just thought I was done running and hiding.”

“I get it. It’s not what you wanted. I’m sorry, I know that I dragged you into this mess.”

“You didn’t, I’m a grown woman. I chose to follow you.”

“You didn’t have. Sometimes I wish you didn’t. You don’t deserve this. Neither does Sam.”

Natasha gave him a small smile.

“Well, we had a rough couple of days--”

“More like a couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, maybe we should call it a night.”

“Yeah, you look tired. What have you ever slept since we’ve been here?”

“Very funny. Don’t worry about me. I sleep. I just spend a lot time-”

“-Thinking?”

“Yeah.”

“You still have nightmares?”

“No, it’s something Sam calls PTSD. Besides I just think too much anyways.”

Natasha puts her hand on Steve’s, “Well, all we can do is take everything one day at a time.”

“You’re right about that.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

Steve nods, “Yeah...it’s just I feel bad. I tore the team apart.”

“In some ways we all did, don’t blame yourself so much.”

“It’s just all I had growing up were my mom and Bucky. So when it came down to Bucky and Tony, I made my decision. Maybe it was the wrong one.”

“What does that big heart of yours say?”

“It says I made the right choice, but how can it be when I lost the only family I had.”

“You still have Sam and me. It might not be much, but you’ve got us Steve.”

“I know and I’m lucky for that.”

Natasha put a hand on his cheek, and Steve’s bright blue stared into her dark green ones. Natasha stood up from the bar stool she was sitting on and placed a kiss on Steve’s forehead before walking away.

“Hey Nat?”

“Yeah?”

Without thinking Steve leans in and places a kiss passionately on Natasha’s lips, after a few seconds he breaks the kiss. Natasha just looked at him with her lips slightly parted processing the whole thing. “Thanks for being here when I need you.”

“Always. Goodnight Rogers.”

“Night Nat.”

The next morning.

“What are you eating?”

“Corn Flakes.” Steve said as he took a big spoonful of the cereal. Natasha walked over and took the spoon from his hand and took a bite. “You like it?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, it’s good.”

“I thought this was the best food ever when I was growing up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, mom and I used to eat it together before her shifts at the hospital.”

“You never talk about your mom.”

“I guess I don’t. Well, sometimes I just have these memories of her sometimes and I relive those moments, I suppose we all have those.”

“So, tell me about her.”

“Well, she was the most amazing woman, and an even better mother.”

“Seems like you were a momma’s boy.”

“Guilty. I mean it’s probably because it was just her and I for many years. My dad died when I was young. My mom was all I had.”

“She seems sweet.”

“She was the best.” Steve smiled at the thought of his mother. “I always hoped that someday I would meet someone like her and we would have children of our own.” His expression shifted a bit. “I mean I gave that up a long time ago.”

“You don’t seem like one to give up on things.”

“I don’t know I guess it’s just not important to me anymore.”

“Things change. We know that all too well.”

“Yeah, a lot can change.”

“Feeling better now that you had a nice rest.”

“Much better actually. How about you?”

“You know me, I’m just here for the missions.”

“Well, we’ve got one hell of a mission.”

“Where?”

“Five miles west of here. Where the hell is Sam?”

“In the shower.”

Steve bangs on the bathroom door.

“What?” Sam says and opens the bathroom door with just a towel around his waist.

“We’ve got to go there to be alert.”

Sam rushes to his room to get dressed and by the time Steve finishes getting dressed himself Natasha is already by the front door dressed in her black stealth suit. “You ready Romanoff?”

“Yeah, I’m always waiting on you boys.” Natasha said low spirited.

"I'm sorry about your sister." Steve said solemnly.

"Thanks." Natasha smiled kindly. "How about you? How are you holding up?" She said refering to losing Peggy.

"I thought about...the time I had with her. I realized I was just lucky to have her.”

Natasha nodded.

"Nat, I've been thinking. I wanted renovate this old house so we could stay here a little longer."

Natasha laughed.

"What?" Steve smiled.

"Nothing, it's just my sister made a comment once, she told everyone I was married to a home renovator."

"He's a lucky guy, just to have you in his life."

"Steve?"

"Yeah, Nat?"

"What are we?"

There was a long pause on his end.

"I've been wondering the same thing."

"So? Are we just friends, more than friends, friends with benefits? What exactly are we?"

"Natasha, I-I guess never knew what I had everything was right in front of me until it was gone."

"Peggy?"

"No. You."

"Me?"

"Yeah, after you let me go in Germany I thought I'd never see you again. And it made me realize that without you here, I'd have nothing-”

“-Steve…”

“Natasha, will you please just let me finish?”

She nodded.

“I thought if I got Bucky, my best friend in back that things would be better. I did only to have him taken away from me so many times. But, somehow I managed without him. But, not having you, made me realize, I can’t lose you. Not again.”

Steve took a breath, “When you took Tony's side, it made me realize something: as long as I have you by my side, everything will be okay. Nat, you’re my right partner. The one who always stood by me. You mean everything to me. Without you, I don't know who I'd be."

"Steve...you don't mean that do you?"

"I do. I meant every word I just said."

"I'm not worth it Steve."

"You are, I love you Nat."

"You do?"

"I always have."

Natasha smiled as Steve leaned in for a kiss.

"WHOA! What's going on here?" Sam asked. "You two finally got got together, huh?"

"I guess we did."


	3. The Decimation of 2018

_**APRIL 2018 - Wakanda, East Africa** _

It had been over two years since they had been on the run. After the whole ordeal with the civil war over the Sokovia Accords, Bucky thought it would be best if he went under. Thanks to T’challa’s generosity he was kept safe from the U.S. government in Wakanda. Then, Steve was later able break out, Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Scott out from the Raft, with the help of Natasha of course. Everett Ross knew of their plan all along and had made a deal with Natasha: If she helped take out the illegal dealers of Chitauri weapons, he’d let all of them go. Natasha agreed and Barton and Lang were put on house arrest while Wanda and Vision went away to Scotland. In the meantime she, Steve and Sam, uncovered the deals in Afghanistan and Tajikistan. They took on new appearances to hide who they really were, she traded her long red hair for a short blonde cut and Steve grew out his hair and let a beard expand across his face. Sam joked around when he first saw them it had been weeks since the prison break.

“Weren’t you a redhead the last time I saw you?” he asked Natasha. “And you," he looked at Steve, "do you even own a razor?” All jokes aside, throughout the past couple of years Sam had truly been a confidant to both Steve and Natasha. Ever since the day he realized things had changed between them.

So when Sam witnessed the reunion between Bruce, whom he had only heard about in stories and Natasha, now one of this closest friends he became anxious. He perceived Steve’s reaction as one of jealousy, yet Steve appeared to be worried. 

"Hi Bruce." 

"Nat." 

Following his observations, Sam blurted out under his breath: “This is awkward,” he looked to the floor nervously hoping no one heard him.  
However, he noticed Vision and Wanda looking at him with slight confusion. I know too much, he thought. Things got even more complicated on the Quinjet to Wakanda. Natasha stood in the distant corner as she watched a shaken up Bruce. He was clearly uneasy after his encounter with Thanos on Asgard. Bruce sat near the exit, just in case the other guy decided to make an appearance. She hadn’t spoken to him since their “awkward” reunion, god she wanted to punch Sam in the face for that comment. 

Although they had only been together for less than a year, the two always had a bond. Yes, it started out as a cliche where friends become lovers, but it was more than that for them. They trusted each other and even if things hadn’t become romantic between them both knew that they could always count on one another. So their romantic relationship started out innocently, when one Nat, knocked on Steve’s hotel room door in the middle of the night.

_“Nat?” he questioned when he opened the door._

_“I can't sleep Rogers, mind if I stay here with you tonight?”_

_“Of course not, come in.” He replied and the two laid together talking until she was relaxed and fell asleep. It's easy to say that was the night Steve fell in love with her._

_Both found comfort in the other’s presence and from that night on, they continued to share a room. In due time Sam eventually caught on. “You two have something to tell me?” he asked sarcastically like he always did. Nonetheless, they knew he was serious. “I know you two have been sleeping together, or at least sharing a bed.” He pronounced._

It was true, they started to have a sexual relationship, one that neither of them expected. It just happened and so naturally. Both knew that Natasha couldn’t bear children or at least that’s what they thought. Therefore they never worried about the possibility. 

Until a month ago when she started to feel off. She had the symptoms: fatigue, missed periods, and morning sickness. But she associated it all as stress from being on the run these past two years. She didn’t even think about the possibility until Sam jokingly said: “Maybe you’re pregnant. I remember my sister going through all this when she had my niece.”

So one day while Steve was out for a morning jog when she took four pregnancy tests. All four of the damn sticks read POSITIVE. She was distressed, in denial even. How can this be happening? She thought. This wasn’t the time or place to have a baby. But now it was even worse. Here they were about to fight against the biggest threat any of them had ever faced and unexpectedly she was pregnant. If it were any other day than this one she would be ecstatic, especially after believing her chances of conceiving a child was none. 

The only thing on her mind right now was Steve, who was standing next to her, she couldn’t possibly tell him. If he knew, she was sure he wouldn’t let her fight, but the fate of the world rested upon their shoulders. Logically, she decided that now was definitely not the time. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps coming in her direction.

She turned to see Bruce. “Hey, Nat. Steve.” He could tell by their body language – standing no more than a few inches apart, Steve’s hand resting lightly on Natasha’s hip – that something was going on with them.

“Bruce,” Steve nodded, Steve wanted no part of the BIG conversation he and Natasha had been avoiding over the past couple of hours. He was happy Bruce was okay, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make him a little uneasy. Three years ago, he told Bruce not to wait too long and take a chance with Natasha. He remembered them flirting across the bar at Tony’s party and felt an idiot. He wanted Natasha to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him. The same way she wanted him to be happy with Sharon. But now, everything was different he thought as he left the room.

“Calm down man, they’re just talking.” Sam replied as his best friend paced around the room.

“I know, it’s just...”

“Look, I for one know you have nothing to worry about Cap.” 

“You’re right. Thanks Sam.” 

“Well, I’m always right.” Sam joked. 

Meanwhile, Natasha and Bruce spoke. 

“I feel like I owe you an apology for everything that happened.” 

Suddenly she felt nauseous. “It’s okay Bruce. Excuse me.” She said and walked to the bathroom. When she came out Steve was there to greet her.

“Hey,” Steve said, his head faced downward not meeting her eyes like it usually did, his voice was full of apprehension.

“Hey,” she tried tentatively, uncertain of his motives. “Are you alright?”

Steve slowly looked up at her, “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

She smiled faintly. 

“You feeling okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She wanted to tell him then but unfortunately, impeccable timing would never be on their side. Hours later she watched as the Wakandan people vanished. The only important thing on her mind was Steve. Hence the reason why, she ran to the last place she saw him. When she witnessed some of her friends standing around, she worried. Then she recognized him, in his beat up suit, for a second she was relieved to see that he was okay, but as she got closer she realized he was hovering over Vision’s lifeless body. "Oh God." He practically whispered.  
There were so many thoughts were running through Natasha's head, but she remembered: the baby. She didn’t realize that she had been caressing her belly, until Steve turned and looked up at her. “Nat, are you okay? Did you get hit?” he asked worriedly, still shaken up from the events that had recently unfolded.  
“I’m fine Steve.” She mumbled, she couldn’t stop thinking about her baby, their baby. What if it didn’t survive the snap. She couldn’t think like that right now, she saw Steve, the man she loved, broken. She had never seen him like this before, he just lost his two best friends, Sam and Bucky. She couldn’t bear to tell him about their child, whom she still didn’t know if it was alive. She couldn’t tell him that their baby was gone too. She would feel guilty if it hadn't survived. So for weeks she said nothing, until they headed back home.

_**MAY 2018 - New York, U.S.A. | 20 Days Later**_

Natasha stood in the bathroom of the compound. She looked at her growing belly in the mirror as she caressed it gently. She learned a week ago that she was about 10 weeks pregnant and was starting to show. No one noticed due to their own grief. Natasha went to lay in bed and started crying, but she was interrupted by a knock on the door. She got up and opened the door, quickly composing herself.

“Hey.” Steve smiled small.

“Hey.” Natasha said looking down while she wiped a tear away.

“You okay?” Steve asked worriedly.

“I’m always okay.”

“Can I come in?”

Natasha opened the door more so Steve could come in and climbed back into bed. “You need something?”

“You asked me to come over.” Steve said holding up his phone.

“Yeah, I guess I did. I just wanted to ask you about something.”

“Sure.” Steve said leaning against the door frame. "Anything."

“Do you remember that night in Tajikistan a few months ago?”

“We were there for a while, but I think I know what you're talking about.”

“Well, that night—” She was interrupted by someone at the door, Steve opened it.

“Pepper received a message from Tony earlier today. Danvers said she’d go to space and get him.” Rhodey stated.

“She can do that?” Natasha asked.

“Apparently. She’s going to bring him back tomorrow.”

“Okay. Thanks Rhodey.” Steve replied.

Rhodey left and Nat patted the bed next to her. “Lay with me?”

Steve nodded “You feeling alright?” He said taking off his shoes and flannel shirt, he had a Hanes tank top underneath and sat next to her on the bed.

Natasha snuggled up against him. “Yeah, I’m feeling fine. I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I understand.” He said putting an arm around her.

She leaned her head on his chest. “I missed this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just having you close to me. I just feel safe when we’re together.”

“Yeah, me too.” He yawned and fell asleep.

In the morning Nat got up and ran to the bathroom, Steve was still fast asleep. When she walked out of the bathroom as he opened his eyes. “Morning.”

He sat up. “Morning.”

“Steve it’s 10am. We better get up.”

“What, already?” 

“Yeah, look at the clock.” She smiled softly, it’d been crazy two years for them and she knew adjusting back to the regular time zone would take time.

Steve looks outside the widow and saw that it was sunrise. “It felt like I only slept for two hours.”

“You’re just exhausted after everything. We all are.” She said and put a hand under his bearded chin and stroked it with her thumb.

“I thought you didn't like the beard?”

“I didn’t at first, but it grew on me.”

“I'm glad. I wasn't sure it'd work.”

She got back into bed. “I just want to sleep all day.”

“You can if you want.”

“Only if my body pillow, stays with me.”

“That's all I'm good for isn't it?”

“Mhmm.” She smiled placing her arm over his body and laid her head on his chest.

Steve pulled her close, he had an arm around her and kissed her hair. Natasha sighed contently as Steve then ran his hands through her hair. “Your red's coming back.”

”Slightly, I’m glad though. I was starting to get tired of continuously dying my hair.”

“It's longer too.”

“Yeah, I haven’t had a chance to cut it. We’ve been busy.”

Steve sighed heavily. “Yeah. We have, huh?”

“We’ll figure this out. We always do.”

“Yeah, but this...this isn't kicking and punching.”

“I know Steve. But, that raccoon said he’s tracking the situation. He knows more about Thanos than we do. God, that was the weirdest sentence that’s ever came out of my mouth.”

Steve chuckled a bit then Steve ran his hands through her hair and kissed her deeply. Natasha placed her hand on his neck and held the kiss for a while. Steve kissed down her jaw and his hands wandered down her arm and she moved her hands down to his shirt and started to peel off his shirt. Steve let her, kissing her immediately after it was off. His hands wandered down and touched her belly, she panicked feeling his hands so close to where their child grew.

He felt her hesitate, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." 

"No, I do." She said then put her hand in the back of his head pulling him closer to her. 

Steve kissed back passionately, his scruffy beard gently scratching Natasha's face, but then she pulled away.

"Alright, then what's wrong?" He asked stroking her cheek. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this...not now at least.”

Steve moved his hands immediately. “You’re right.” He stood up. “I'm sorry.”

“No, Steve...”

“It's okay you don't need to explain yourself. I get it now's not the right time.”

“Steve, you don’t need to go. It’s just that I'm pre—.” She didn't finish she was interrupted by something that had just clattered to the ground at Steve's feet as he pulled on his pulled on his pants. Natasha looked down and saw that it was his compass. His compass, that had Peggy’s picture showing face up. Natasha bent down and picked it up for him. "Here." 

"Oh." Steve held his hand out and took it. “Thanks.” He grinned like it was nothing and pocketed it.

“Yeah...”

“So what were you saying?” Steve asked as he pulled on his black long sleeve shirt. 

“You know what. It's nothing. I’ll see you later.”

"Okay." He smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "See you later."

Natasha stayed in bed most of the day, thinking about what she meant to Steve. After seven years of friendship. Four years as partners, and nearly a year of being his significant other, she still wondered what she meant to him. She was carrying his child and she still felt like that was meaningless, as he still carried around a relic from the 1940's of a women she knew he never even slept with, or at least she thought. Maybe she didn't even know him at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying this story. I plan to update at least once every week. Thank you for reading.


	4. Home Is Where The Heart Is, Or Is It?

Natasha saw Steve later that night. His face freshly shaven as they walked out together to welcome Tony back home. A few days later when Tony was feeling a little better they held a small meeting.

"Tony, I'm going to need you to focus." Steve asked gently.

"And I needed you!" Tony said raising his voice. "As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late, buddy. Sorry." Tony took a breath. "You know what I need? I need to shave. And I believe I remember telling you-"

"Tony, Tony, Tony?" Rhodey pleaded with him.

"-Otherwise, what we needed was a suit of armor around the world. Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not. That's what we needed."

"Well, that didn't work out did it..." Steve replied.

"I said we'd lose, you said: we'll do that together too. Guess what, Cap? We lost and you weren't there. But, that's what we do right? Our best work after the fact. We're the AVENGERS! We're the 

Avengers not the pre-vengers."

"Okay, you made your point. Just sit down." Rhodey pleaded with him. "Tony, just sit down."

"We need you, you're new blood." Tony said to Carol then walked up to Steve. "I got nothing for you Cap! I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options, zero, zip, nada. No trust. _Liar_."

Tony ripped the arc reactor from his chest, and smacked it into Steve's palm before falling to the floor. "Tony?' Steve asked worriedly. "I'm fine." He said before fainting.

Natasha rubbed Steve's arm as they waited for an update. “He’ll be okay. It’s not your fault.”

“Kind of is.” Steve said looking at her sadly.

“You blame yourself too much.”

Rhodey walked out of Tony's room."Bruce gave him a sedative. He's probably gonna be out for the rest of the day." Steve looked down, feeling guilty.

Carol wanted to go and attack Thanos alone, but Steve and Nat talked her into letting them come. "Hey, we usually work as a team here, between you and I moral is fragile." Natasha stated. "We realize there is more your territory, but this is our fight too." Steve added. They spoke for a bit more, but Nebula knew where Thanos would be so they devised a plan and headed to the Quinjet.

“This is gonna work Steve.” Natasha said before they boarded the jet.

“I know it is, because I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't.” Steve said while playing with his compass before closing it and put it back into his pocket.

Natasha watched as the man she loved stared at the photo of his former love. Steve had told her that there was nothing to worry about that he had no feelings at all. Still, she felt an ache in her chest every time she watched him stare at Peggy's photo. She'd be lying if she said that Steve carrying the compass with him everywhere he went didn't make her feel uncomfortable. But 

Natasha Romanoff was a good liar, a trained spy, so she could easily pretend it was nothing, even if it was something.

They get seated and buckle up.

"So who here, hasn't been to space?" Rocket asked. Rhodey, Steve, and Natasha raised their hands. "Well you better not throw up on my ship."

Natasha hoped she wouldn't. This baby was only the size of a coin and already caused her big problems. Her doctor informed her that she was suffering from severe morning sickness and prescribed her some medication, but nothing seemed to work. It turned out that Steve's super serum wasn't just super enough to help her conceive a child, but it conceived a child who was a super terror to its mother. Natasha thought she was done throwing up for the day, but her baby definitely didn't agree. Luckily, for Rocket it waited until after they landed.

“You okay?” Steve asked concerned looking at a now paled Natasha.

She closed her eyes as a wave of nausea came over her. “Yeah...I'm fine.”

“You're gonna be sick?” Steve observed and ushered her out the door. Natasha put her hand over her mouth and ran to a nearby bush, Steve followed and placed a hand on her back. "You wanna sit this one out?" He asked gently, Natasha hated to be coddled.

"No, like you told Danvers, this is our fight too. Mine included."

Steve nodded and headed into the house, Natasha followed him from behind.

Things didn't go as planned, Thanos had destroyed the stones and for now all hope was lost.

Natasha teared up as they walked back onto the quinjet. She sat in her seat and just cried silently. Steve came up and held her in his strong arms, pulling her against his chest, towering over her as he rubbed her back. Natasha just cried in his chest, feeling safe and secure and Steve buried his face in her neck and soothed her. Nat held on to him until everyone got on board and it was time to head back to the compound.

When they get back to the compound Nat headed straight to her room and took a shower. She was in pain thinking that she may never be able to see her family and friends again. She cried, then looked down at her bump. She noticed it had gotten a little bigger, her baby. Her little ray of sunshine, a glimmer of hope. She caressed it with her thumb and spoke gently. “I know you can't hear me, but we’ll be okay baby. I promise. I’ll always protect you.”

Later in the evening, Steve stood in the debriefing room with Tony.

“Please Tony!”

“Sorry Cap, not happening. I can’t. This team, it’s over.” 

“What would Fury say?” Steve asked. 

“He’s not here, is he?” 

“Please Tony.” Steve pleaded. “We need you.”

“You didn’t need me when you tried to kill me two years ago.” 

“Tony, I never meant to hurt you. We need to work together, we have to find a way.” 

“Look, you just wouldn’t understand. You don’t have a family, and you said you didn’t you want one either.” 

“Tony, please...this team is my family. Now, it’s all falling apart...please.” 

“Sorry Cap, but this team fell apart the moment you choose Barnes over us.” 

“He’s my best friend, my brother. I couldn’t let the government wrongly accuse him.”

“Good luck Cap…” Tony said and walked away. 

Steve sat down defeated in an office chair, he sighed and buried his face in his hands. 

Natasha got dressed and came out to see them bickering loudly. “What’s going on in here?”

“Bye, Nat. Take care.” Tony smiled and walked out. 

Natasha walked over to Steve and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?”

“He said he's retiring. Pepper just found out she’s pregnant. Apparently, they're moving to the countryside.”

“They deserve a little peace right now. He just lost the kid, it’s got to be hard for him.” 

“We all lost somebody.” 

“I know you miss Bucky.” 

“Yeah.” Steve sighed and stood up. “I need to clear my head. I’m going for a run.” 

“Okay.” She patted his shoulder as he got up. “I love you.” 

“Yeah…” He replied in a faint whisper as he walked out the room.

Moments later Natasha heard faint footsteps approaching her. It was Bruce. 

“Hey Nat, you alright?” 

“I’m fine.” She smiled faintly. “You leaving too?” 

“I’ve got some things to work out.” He stated then paused for a while before speaking once more. “We didn’t get to finish our conversation from a few weeks ago, but I just want you to know I’m really sorry.” 

“It’s okay Bruce. I forgive you.”

“I just want you to know, me leaving, it wasn’t about you. I never meant to hurt you.” He scratched his head nervously. 

“Thank you for apologizing. I understand that you had your own stuff to work through, you and the other guy. It hurt, but it’s okay, Bruce, I forgive you. I moved on, so stop beating yourself  
up.”

He gave a sad half-smile as his gaze dropped to his feet. 

“Can I give you some advice?”

“Of course.” 

“I know what it’s like to compartmentalize and shut off parts of my personality to survive. But that’s a bad way to live. We need the brilliant Bruce Banner just as much as we need the Hulk.”

“Thanks Nat.”

“Bruce, you need to accept Hulk as a part of you. You’re not a monster.”

“It’s easier said than done.” Bruce smiled. “And Nat?” 

“Yeah, take some of your own advice too, okay?” 

She gave him an encouraging smile. “Like you said, it’s easier said than done.”

“Could I ask you something?”

“Sure, Bruce.”

“It’s just something that’s been in my brain since I came back.”

“Go for it.”

“How long have you and Steve been…”

“What are you asking me?” 

He gave an uncomfortable laugh, “You are together, right?”

“Yeah. I mean it’s complicated, but we are.” 

“Well, maybe it’s best not to get into it.” Natasha nodded and Bruce grabbed his bags. “I’m happy for you Nat.” 

“Thanks Bruce.” She smiled. 

“And Nat?”

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations on the baby.” 

“How? How’d you know?”

“I am a doctor.” He half-smiled. “And you’ve thrown up almost every morning since I’ve been back so I ruled out food poisoning.”

Natasha laughed. 

“You take care of yourself.” Bruce smiled.

“You too.” Said and gave him a friendly hug. They held onto each other for a long moment in comfort. 

She watched as Bruce walked out the door. An hour later she was in her office working when her focus was interrupted by a figure in the room. 

“Hey.”

She turned around to face Steve. “Back already?”

“Yeah, already got a few miles in.”

“Good, should I start dinner?”

“No, I’m okay.” He paused. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“Is everything alright?” Natasha asked concerned. 

“Yeah, it’s just that I've been thinking…” He was hesitant. 

“About what?” She asked concerned. 

“I just was thinking about moving?"

“What do you mean?” 

“I just think I need some time to recuperate.”

“Okay, that sounds healthy, but why can’t you do that here?” 

“I need a change of scenery and honestly I miss Brooklyn.”

Natasha just stared at him blankly at a loss for words. 

“I'm going to assess how things are in the city.” He stated. “I have a friend down there who has been updating me on the situation.” 

“I’m sure things aren’t so bad." She didn't know whether or not this was the time to tell him about their impending parenthood but she just said. “I can come with you, if you want?”

“No, I mean thanks, but this is something I need to do by myself.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “I know you’ve expressed moving back for a while now.”

“Yeah, I have.” He answered. “I know it won’t be the same but it's still home.”

"Well there’s no place like home, right?” Natasha looked at the man she loved with all her heart, her partner, best friend, and father of her child then looked away crying as she watched Steve drive away on his motorcycle, a few bags packed with his things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. I wish that Endgame did more for Tony and Steve's conflict. As well as going into past Bruce-Nat "relationship". They skipped over so many things and I hope to cover some of those in this story. If you re-read Chapter 1, Bruce is one of the people who is aware of James' existence ;D


	5. More Than Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the song "More Than Words" by Extreme. If you know the song then you'll get the gist of this chapter. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might just be the best chapter I've ever written yet.

For the record, she wished that when she had told him he would’ve stayed. But, life didn’t go as planned and for over two months they didn't see one another. Steve had decided to take a small retreat for his mental health which he hadn’t told Natasha about. He’d been having issues with PTSD for years, but survivor's guilt had taken over and he didn’t know who the man that stared back at him in the mirror was anymore. Steve had left New York without telling Natasha so he missed every phone call, text, and letter she’d sent him. She thought he was gone for good like everyone else. But to her surprise one morning while making breakfast she heard a familiar voice, Steve’s voice.

“Nat? You home?”

“Steve? I’m in the kitchen...”

He walked in smiling with a bouquet of flowers, excited to see her. “Sorry, I know it's been a while.”

“Hey. Yeah, it has been a while.” 

“I missed you.”

“You did?."

“Of course I did.” Steve said and made his way around the counter to hug her and his face went blank when he saw her bulging baby bump.

“Sandwich?” She said leaning her back against the kitchen counter and held a plate out to him.

“Sure thanks.” He smiled, absently answering her question, while starring her belly. 

She didn’t know what to say. "I'm pregnant."

"I can see that." He paused. 

"You’re the father, by the way."

“I am?” He didn’t mean it in a bad way, and hoped she wouldn’t take it the wrong way. He cleared his throat, “I mean, I’m going to be a father?”

"Well, if you want to be." She didn’t know why she said that. 

“Of course I do.” He was surprised by her response. “Why would you think that?”

“We never talked about kids.”

“Yeah, because you avoided the conversation every time I tried to have it.”

“You know how I feel about it, after everything I’ve been through.” 

“Yeah, sorry.” He wasn’t thinking clearly. He hated himself for forgetting her time in the Red Room. “I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“It’s fine, I try not to think about it that much anyways.”

“So, uh, When? When did you find out?”

“Before we went to Wakanda.”

His jaw went slack and he stepped back, before taking a deep breath. “That was...that was a while ago.” He commented coldly and looked down at her belly then up at her again.

“I know.”

“This is supposed to be good news, right?” Steve swallowed. “I just can’t see why you didn't tell me?”

“I was scared.”

“You were scared?”

“Yes. Am I allowed to be?”

“Yeah, but Nat, come on, it's me.”

“I was still scared.”

“Why?”

She hesitated in telling him the truth, but realized it was now or never. She couldn't keep these feelings inside any longer. “Because after all these years," she started. 

“After all these years, what?” 

“After all these years, it’s still Peggy, and I can’t help but shake the feeling that it will always be Peggy.”

“Peggy? Nat, I don’t understand where all of this is coming from.”

"Steve come on, don’t give me that.” 

“Natasha, you can’t be serious.” 

“Does none of this phase you? In the quinjet, the bedroom, you take that compass everywhere you go.” 

“The compass? Do you hear yourself right now?”

Natasha was silent, Steve wasn’t. He wanted to voice his opinion out of anger. 

“Why are you acting so insecure?”

“Well, excuse me for feeling this way when after everything we've been through. I just can’t believe you’re still hung up on an old flame.” 

“Come on Natasha.” He scoffed, “We’ve been sleeping together on and off for four years.” 

“Okay, and you and Maria slept together too.” 

“That was one time Natasha, it was a drunken mistake.” 

“You can’t even get drunk.” 

He sighed, “Fine, it was a one night stand, only because you were into Bruce.” 

“You were into to Sharon, and I didn’t go sleeping around.” 

“Nat, you’re the one who said we were just friends...with benefits.” Steve replied. “Besides, I wanted more at the time and you didn’t.” 

“Still, if it’s not about Sharon or Maria, it’s still Peggy.” She stated. “I don’t want to be your consolation prize, Steve and I wouldn’t want you settling.”

He was at a loss for words. “God Nat, that’s bullshit! Is that what you think of me? You think? You think I haven't noticed...for what seven years who was right by my side? Was it Tony? No.Bucky? No. Sharon? No. Peggy!? Definitely not.” 

“Can you try and see this from my point of view?”

“I’m trying to, I’m just trying to figure this all out.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Everything. None of those people have been there for me the way you are. None of them. Not a single one of them. And the baby…” He paused. “Not knowing...it really hurts, Natasha.” 

The entire situation hurt, he just received the greatest news of his life but he felt like he wasn't a part of it at all. And Natasha felt that for once showing her emotions wasn’t the right thing to do.

“You’re hurt? You know what hurts, Steve? It hurts that I’m living here all alone. Where have you been these past months when I needed you?”

“You didn't tell me Nat!”

“You think I didn’t try to tell you about the baby?”

“Seems like it.”

“Do you think that little of me?” 

“Don’t act as if I’m belittling you, god Nat you know I care about you!” 

“If you did, you wouldn’t have fucking left.”

“I told you I needed to clear my head. I needed time to figure things out.”

“We would have figured this out together like we always do, but you left and never came back.” 

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“It’s too late.”

“Oh, really? Too late?” 

“Yes. Why didn’t you answer any of my messages? Were you too selfish to notice that you’re not the only one who’s hurting?” 

“I did notice, I’m not as self-centered as you might think.” He sighed. “For God's sake, I’m here now.”

“It’s too late.” She was sobbing now as her hand rubbed the underside of her belly. “You still left like everyone else. I thought you were different. I thought what we had mattered.” 

“Nat?” His eyes were full of concern as she clutched her stomach. Steve walked closer to her and extended his arm. “I’m here now and that’s gotta mean something, because I don’t see anyone else here.” 

She pushed his hand away. “I-I called you, I wrote you letters. I sent you pictures of him.” 

“Him? It’s a boy? Nat, I didn’t know...”

Natasha cried harder and sat on the couch clutching her belly. She was breathing heavily and closed her eyes breathing in and out.

“Natasha?” Steve asked worriedly. “Are you alright?”

Dumb question she thought, but she knew what he meant. “My head, it’s throbbing…” She said between sobs. 

Steve ran and grabbed her a glass of water. “Here, drink.” 

Natasha took a few sips before admitting. “Something’s wrong... I can’t feel him...and my head hurts.” 

“Okay, let’s get you to the hospital?” 

“Where’s your car keys?” He asked gently. 

“On the kitchen counter.” 

Steve grabbed them then quickly picked Natasha up and helped her into the car. He drove as fast as he could to the hospital. Steve was conflicted on whether he should stay or leave. He wanted so much to console her, but at the same time he was scared too. Damnit, he just found out about this child and he might be the reason Natasha loses it. 

“Is my baby okay?” Natasha asked the nurse urgently. “Please, is he alright?” 

“We’ll find out right now.” The nurse replied as she put on a fetal monitor around Natasha’s stomach. 

“What's that noise?” Steve asked about the rumbling coming from a monitor. 

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat.” The doctor smiled. “It’s quite strong, meaning he’s very healthy.”

Steve was in utter disbelief. “That's his heartbeat?” Steve asked looking at Nat.

“Yes, it is.” The nurse replied. “He’s okay.”

“Thank God.” Natasha sighed in relief and rubbed her belly. “Thank God, you’re okay, malysh.” 

“Natasha, we’re going to run some tests on your blood work and I’ll be back soon. Try to get some rest.” 

“Okay, thank you.” Natasha replied and did as the doctor instructed. She was asleep for almost the entire day, so Steve left the room for a while and came back a little later. When he walked in he saw Natasha still fast asleep cradling her belly. She stirred in her sleep and awoke from their baby moving inside of her, lifting her hand almost to inspect her belly, then saw Steve was standing in the doorway. 

“Hey.” Steve said softly. 

“Hey.” She replied her voice horse. 

“I can go, if you want.” 

“No, Steve, stay...please…”

Steve nodded and sat down pulled a chair next to her bed, then broke down, sobbing. “I’m sorry, Nat.”

“It’s okay…”

“No, it’s not. I should be apologizing for the way I acted earlier. I let my emotions get the best of me...and, I put you under a lot of stress and now you’re in the hospital.”

“Steve…”

“I'm sorry Nat...” he cried. 

“It’s okay, Steve.” She stated reassuringly starting to cry herself. “I’m sorry too.”

“Nat, I'm sorry that I didn’t tell you where I was going and that I wasn’t here for you, for the both of you.”

“It’s my fault, I didn’t tell you about the baby.”

“No, regardless, baby or no baby I should’ve been here with you. It was selfish of me to go.” 

“Still, I can’t hold that against you. I understand why you left. I’m the selfish one for thinking you didn’t deserve your own way of healing.”

He looked at her lovingly, still crying. “Can I...can I give you a hug?”

Natasha nodded and Steve hugged her tightly.

“I'm so sorry.” Steve sobbed. 

“Me too.” She cried. 

Steve couldn’t bear to see her in so much pain, pain that he had caused. He held her close to him like nothing had changed. “I really messed up. I shouldn’t have left, all alone.” He stroked her hair and rubbed her back. 

“But, I wasn’t exactly alone after all.” 

They both chuckled then Steve got serious again, he pulled away and looked into her piercing green eyes. 

"You're not a second choice Nat. You never were. If anything, you're my second chance." He started then, spoke almost hesitantly. “I love you Nat. I knew from the moment we were standing in Sokovia, that whether I'd be alive for another sixty seconds or sixty years that as long as I had you by side, I could die happy.”

Happy tears flowed from her eyes. "I love you too Steve. So much."

That was the first time they said it. After seven years as friends, four as partners, two on the run they both finally said the words they were too afraid to speak as if they were forbidden. But in that moment they knew no matter how long they had waited, no matter how perfect they wished for it to be. This was how it was always meant to be. He didn’t need to tell her. Just him being there said everything. Those three words weren’t what spoke to her what he did next, his actions told her everything she needed to know.. 

“So, I went home while you were sleeping and I found this.” Steve said as Natasha took the small photo from Steve’s hand “So, this is our son?”

“Yeah, that’s our son.” 

Steve’s eyes welled up with tears then looked up at Nat smiling as he still processed all the new information. Steve laughed through unshed tears and smiled lovingly at her. “Good, because I uh, got a few things for the baby last night?”

“You did?”

Steve stood up and grabbed a large paper bag then handed it Natasha. Inside the bag were some baby clothes. Steve got a couple sets of baby blue onesies, and a couple other things. Among them, a white onesie that said, _Future Avenger_ with the “A” logo on it. 

Natasha chuckled. 

“I just thought it funny.”

“It’s actually really adorable, I have to admit.” She said folding it and placing it on the side. “Thanks Steve.” 

“Well, I’m not done yet.” Steve said, holding up another bag. 

“Wow, you’re really going to be that dad, huh?” 

“Yes and no..” Steve responded. “I didn’t just get stuff for the baby I got some things for you too.” 

Natasha took the next bag that he handed her. There were some baby books on birth and labor, but more importantly books on how to prepare for a baby together as a couple. “I know you were scared that you’d have to do it all. I saw the book you had on raising a child as a single mom. It broke my heart that’s what you were thinking, so I thought we can read this together.”

Natasha nodded, fighting tears. “That's really nice of you.”

“Oh Nat.” Steve said gently, and rubbed her shoulder. “You told me once that you didn’t want me to be alone and God knows, I don’t want you to feel alone.” 

She smiled at him softly with tear stained cheeks. "I’m glad you’re here." They held each other for a while until Natasha loosened her embrace. “Whoa.” She said suddenly. 

“Are you alright?” Steve asked worriedly. 

“Yeah, I think he’s kicking.” She said as she gently rubbed her belly. “He’s kicking now.”

“He can kick already?” 

“I’ve been feeling movement, but this is different...” She answered with a hesitant smile. “Do you want to feel?”

“Only if that’s okay with you.” Natasha took Steve’s large hand and placed it on her belly. “Is he still kicking? I didn't feel anything.”

“He’s just being shy now.” She spoke lovingly to her belly. “Move so daddy can feel, malysh.” 

“Malysh? Is that what you’re naming him?”

“No, silly. Malysh means baby in Russian.” Natasha smiled.

“Oh.” Steve laughed a little embarrassed. “So, how far along are you?”

“Twenty-three weeks, but my doctor says he’s on the larger side.” She replied. “Maybe, try talking to him, he’s supposedly able to hear sounds at this stage."

Steve looked at Natasha full of admiration. “You’ve been reading up huh?”

“I just want to be prepared when he comes. After all he’s my little miracle.”

Steve rubbed her belly with his thumb. “He is a miracle, isn't he?”

“He is.” 

Steve began to speak, “Hey baby boy. It’s your dad. I, uh...” 

Natasha smiled as Steve spoke then suddenly exclaimed. “Did you feel that? He’s moving!”

“No, where?”

Natasha moved Steve’s hand to where their child had just kicked. “Right here.”

Their baby kicked and Steve smiled wider than she'd ever seen. “There you are.” The baby kicked again in response. Steve chuckled. “I just want to say love you and I can't wait to meet you.”

Natasha teared up hearing Steve talk to their son. “I can already tell he loves you too.” 

Steve looked up to Nat. “Will you let me be around for him?”

“That’s all I ever wanted.”

“Thank you, Nat. It means a lot.”

Natasha smiled and rubbed her belly. “He’s going to need you.”

“I’ll be here for him.” 

“I know you will.” 

Steve smiled. “And I’m always here for you.” 

“I know you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess the point I was trying to make here is that sometimes what we want to happen doesn't happen the way we plan. Still, it can be just as beautiful, maybe even more beautiful in the end. I know you may not like that Steve wasn't around for Nat, but I found it important that he took care of his mental health. As we saw in Endgame he was moving on from what they had lost. Again, thank you all so much for reading. It means a lot.


	6. We Always Find Our Way Back To Each Other

A few weeks passed and Steve and Natasha’s relationship was still bumpy, but was getting better each day. It was almost back to normal but not quite what it used to be. Natasha was diagnosed with preeclampsia due to having high blood pressure. The doctor told her it was common in “geriatric mothers” or mother over the age of 35. Natasha hated the term, it made her feel older than she actually was.   
Steve had been cattering to her as much as he could. She liked being the center of his attention, but sometimes found his constant hovering exhausting. 

“I can use the restroom by myself.” She said gently as Steve followed her one day. 

“Sorry, I just...”

“It’s okay.” 

“So, how have things been going?” He asked as she washed her hands. 

“It’s been rough. I just found out that Laura and the kids are gone and Clint, he’s off somewhere killing...”

“Killing?”

“Yeah.” She replied on the verge of breaking down.

“Oh, I'm so sorry Nat.” He pulled her close to him.

“I can’t imagine what Clint went through. Especially now that I’m pregnant. I love the baby so much, I can’t imagine what it’d be like if I lost him.”

“I know.” Steve pulled her into him then put a hand on her belly. “Everything will be okay, I'm here now.”

“I’m glad. I didn’t think I could do this without you.”

“I don't want you to think like that, but I’ll be here for you both.”

“Good. Now could you please pass me my sandwich, baby’s hungry.” She said leaning forward to reach her sandwich that   
was on the coffee table in front of them.

Steve reached over and grabbed it for her. “Baby’s hungry or mommy's hungry?”

Natasha started to tear up and rubbed her belly. No one, not even herself had referred to her as a mother, mom or mommy, yet. All this mommy talk was catching up to her.

“Hey, hey, hey what's wrong?”

“Nothing. I just never thought I’d be a mother.” She teared up and looked at him. “I don’t know if I’ll be a good one. I want   
to give him the life he deserves.”

Steve gave her a reassuring smile. “I can already tell you’re an amazing mom and I know there's nothing you wouldn't do for him.”

“I love him so much already, and I haven’t even met him yet.”

“He's a lucky little boy.”

“Yeah, he really is. Aren’t you Solnyshko?” She said looking down at her belly talking to her son.

“What's that mean?” Steve asked his arm around her and her head on his shoulder.

“In Russian it means: My sunshine.” She smiled.

“I love that.”

“I don’t speak Russian often, because I have no use for it. But, I want him to know his Russian heritage.”

“I think that's a good idea.”

“I was thinking of giving him a Russian name, but I haven’t quite decided on that. Although, I think he should have a strong American first name.”

“You've got time.”

“No.” She said, placing her hand on his and smiled. “We have time.” She said leaning into him and then falls asleep.

Steve smiled and fell asleep holding her and woke up on the couch with Nat nestled into him, her large belly against his   
abdomen and her blonde hair coming out of her braid. He just stared down and watched his best friend, pregnant with his child and his heart swelled. He never felt more happy than in that moment.

The next morning Natasha stirred in her sleep trying to get comfortable, she’d been having a harder time sleeping through the night ever since the baby started moving.

“Morning.” He smiled.

“Morning soldier.”

“How’d you sleep?”

“Fine, but your son doesn’t always allow me my full eight hours.”

Steve rubbed her belly. “Be nice to mommy, Buddy. Do you know what she's going through for you?”

“He’s worth it.” She smiled. “So are you staying for breakfast?”

“Sure. Want me to make eggs?”

“As long as you don’t burn it again. I remember when you made breakfast for Sam and I in Kiev. It wasn’t a pretty sight.”

He laughed and got up. “I've had practice since then.”

“Good.” She smiled then thought for a moment. "What is today?"

"It's Saturday."

“I forgot, I have an appointment with my OB today.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, do you wanna come?”

“I'd love that.”

“Alright, I’m gonna go shower and change.” She went to take a shower then came out in a tight black tank top and jeans.

“Hey you.”

“Hey.” She walked up to him. “You smell good, I love when you wear that cologne.”

“Yeah, I haven't worn it in a while, I left it here.”

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, lets go to the parking garage. Wanna take your car or mine?”

“I missed your Corvette.”

“Do you mind driving?”

“Not at all.”

“Thanks. So how have you been?”

“I've been kind of in a funk honestly.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Just being around you helps, but I've also been going to some support groups.”

“Support group? When you start going to that?”

“After I left so a few months or so ago.”

“That’s good to hear. So it's been helping?”

“I've only done it a couple times, but I feel a little better afterwards.”

“I’m proud of you for taking that step. I know how stubborn you can be.” She stated seriously, yet light hearted.

“Hey!”

“It’s true, but that’s what I love most about you. You’re hardheadedness it makes Steve Rogers who he is.”

He gave her a shy grin and they got to the doctor's office.

Natasha checked in at the front desk and sat with Steve in the waiting room.

Soon the nurse called Natasha into the examination room.

“Am I supposed to go in with you or do I wait?”

“You can come in.”

“Okay.” Steve got up and followed her in helped Natasha onto the examining table. Her doctor came in shortly after.

“Hello, Natasha!” The Doctor said as they walked in, then she turned to Steve. “And is this dad?”

“Yes, I am.” Steve smiled.

The doctor introduced herself to Steve then turned to Natasha. "So you know the drill. How are you feeling today?”

“I'm feeling good, morning sickness has finally subsided.”

“Excellent I’m glad to hear that. Could you lift your shirt up for me?”

She nodded the lifted her shirt up revealing her perfectly round swollen belly causing Steve to fall in love with her a bit   
more.

The doctor put gel on her belly and put the wand on it. “Are you ready to see your baby?”

“Yeah.” Steve said as he scooted forward in his seat.

An image appeared on the screen of their baby sucking his thumb. “There’s your baby.”

“Oh wow, he grew so much in a month.” Natasha smiled.

The doctor turned to Nat. “Yes, he did.”

Steve smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned down to kiss her.

“Alright, everything looks good. I'll print these out for you and you can pick them up at the front desk.”

They got the prints and headed to the car. Natasha looked through the newest photos of her baby as they headed to the compound. When they pulled up Steve got out and grabbed the door for her. They went inside and Natasha sat on the couch in the living room and rubbed her growing belly. She sang to her son softly as Steve prepared breakfast not too far away in the kitchen. Later he stood in the doorway and watched her talk to their son. “Now you’re calm solnyshko.” she cooed to her son. “I can’t wait to meet you little boy. Mommy loves you so much.”

Steve pushed off the wall and walked in, "Breakfast is ready." He smiled.

Natasha turns to see him and smiles. He sits next to her and picks up the sonogram photo from the coffee table and admires it.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”

Steve wrapped an arm around her, then leaned into kiss her. “He's beautiful. You're beautiful. I couldn’t be happier.” He   
said then kissed her passionately.

When they walked into the dining room Steve had the plates full of bacon, eggs, a variety of fruits, and waffles.

“This looks good. I think I'll have strawberry waffles.”

“Everything is strawberry with you, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s weird. But, I’ve just been craving it lately.”

Steve smiled and made her a plate. She thanked him and they started to eat.

“So, we need to talk about us. How are we going to do this?”

Steve looked at her a bit puzzled. “However you want.”

“I want you to be involved, because he’s your son and he deserves his father. But, our living situation isn’t ideal for a   
newborn.”

“I know. I want to be part of his life. But at the same time I don’t want to hand him back and forth every time I go back to Brooklyn.”

“I don’t want to keep him from seeing his dad either." She paused. "Look, I know that you left for a reason, but if it’s not   
too much to ask, would you consider moving back?"

“Absolutely." He said with no hesitation. "I can do that. I can move back here. I'll be here for him Nat. He needs his dad.”

“He does.” She smiled and rubbed her belly. “We really need to stop calling him ‘he’. This little boy needs a name.”

“Yeah.” Steve said in thought. 

“You look like you have something in mind?” 

“I don’t want to impose.”

“Impose? Rogers, he’s your son too.”

“Yeah, I just don’t know right now.” He said half-heartedly. “You’ve had more time to think it through, anything?” 

“I have a list.” 

“Of course you do, so what’s on it?” Steve smiled. 

“I like Nicholas, after Nick and I think the meaning is nice.”

“What’s it mean?” 

“Victorious.” 

“I like it. What else?” 

“Alexander, it means defender of mankind.” 

“Eh, not really a fan of it. Reminds me too much of Pierce, and wasn’t that your ex-husband’s name?” 

“You’re right, and yeah his name was Alexei.” She added. 

“Any more?” 

“Steven?” 

“Definitely not. Hard Pass.” 

“What about Joseph, after your father?”

“I don’t know. I really didn’t know the guy. He died when I was young so…”

“Right, what about James?” Steve’s eyes lit up the moment she mentioned it, but he shot it down in an instant. 

“I know a ton of guys named James.” He laughed. “James Montgomery Falsworth. Jim Morita. Jacques Dernier, which I   
thought was a form of John,” Steve was rambling now. “Even Rhodey’s name is James.” 

Natasha knew he was blabbering on because he didn’t even once mention the most important James in his life. His   
best friend in the entire world. James Buchanan Barnes. So, she decided to play him a bit. “Oh, you’re right James is way too common.” 

“Yeah, way too common.” Steve said with a tight lip smile before looking down. He took a long pause before speaking   
again. “Well, actually I was thinking James after Bucky?” 

She smiled softly. “I love it.” 

“You do?” He asked surprised.

“Yeah, and apparently your son does too.” She smiled as she felt a kick where her palm rested on her abdomen. “It’s a good strong name.”

“Yeah.” Steve smiled painfully. 

Natasha put her hand on Steve’s to console him, she knew what he was feeling. She had the exact same feelings about so   
many people. “I know you miss him.”

“He would laugh at the idea of me having a kid. I wish he was here to tease me about it." He paused. "I've been thinking   
about him a lot lately. I mean Sam and Wanda too. I've been trying to remember the good things and the dumb things."

"Oh, like what?"

"Like when he used to try and set me up on dates.”

“Oh really, Bucky played matchmaker?”

“Big time. We usually went on double dates.”

“So did he ever set you up with anyone good?”

“Let’s just say Bucky often ended the night with both girls.”

“He was a ladies’ man?”

“Don't give him too much credit. Standing next to me sure helped. I can't say any of them were interested, but it doesn't   
matter anyways.”

“I’m sure I would’ve been.”

“Ah, but you wouldn't have met me.” He said amused.

“I’m sure we would’ve crossed paths somehow...” she gave him a soft smile.

“You know, not a lot of asthmatic artists date Russian spies.”

“Maybe not, but you and I...” she paused. “We always find our way back to each other.”

“We do, huh?” 

“We do.”


	7. Home Is Where The Heart Is

It was about 10pm and Natasha was lounging on the couch when she heard footsteps. She slowly got up and made her way to the hallway to see Steve, with a few bags. Steve had been in Brooklyn for the past two weeks. He barely had time between his new job as a counselor and getting things in order to sell his place. In the meantime he still kept in touch with Nat and came over as much as he could. He walked in and charmingly smiled causing Natasha’s heart to melt. 

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was full of excitement and shock.

“I'm home!”

“I didn’t think you were coming back so soon.” She smiled.

“I figured I'd surprise you.”

“You definitely pulled it off. Come inside, I started to free up some dresser space for your things."

He followed her in, “Wait a second, stand there. Wow!”

She looked at him and just stood still. “What?”

He looked her up and down with a small smirk. “Wow you got big!” He joked and placed his large hand on her growing belly.

“Gee thanks!” She said sarcastically, while rolling her eyes.

“But, seriously, you've never looked better Nat. You’re absolutely beautiful.”

“Thanks Steve. I’m just happy you’re moving back soon.”

“Me too. It feels right.” He sat down on the couch and pulled her next to him.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and grabbed his hand, placing it on her belly. “James is playing soccer in there.”

“Is he? I was thinking he'd be more into martial arts. Maybe he’d like kickboxing at the gym with me.” He smirked and held her body close to him.

“Yeah, either way he’ll probably be very good at it.”

“No doubt.” He rubbed her belly, then leaned down to kiss her stomach. “Hi buddy.” James kicked hard and Steve moved to look at Natasha. “That was a strong kick.” 

“I think James is excited that daddy’s finally here.” She looked down at her belly, rubbing it gently. “Aren’t you solnyshko?”

Steve kissed her hair. “Hey son, it's your dad." He spoke lazily, leaning his head on Natasha’s belly and gave his son a kiss from the other side. “I'm so excited to meet you, only three more months to go.”

She smiled. “Wow, time went by so quickly.”

“You're right. I know it's been difficult but he's healthy and perfect.”

“Yeah, it’s all worth it.”

“And I'm here now to take care of you.”

“That’s what I’ve been looking forward to.” She laughed.

“I know, I'm sorry I wasn't. I just wasn't sure if we were there yet after everything.”

“It’s okay, You’re here now and that's all that matters. I’ve never felt more sure of us than I do now.”

He grinned and kissed her, his hands in her soft hair.

“Can we go lay in bed?” She asked.

“Yeah, have you eaten?”

“Yeah, I eat so much now thanks to your son. I’m always hungry.”

“Are you still hungry?”

“No, I’m okay…” she paused. “Wait actually, yes. Can you grab me some ice cream from the freezer?”

“I'd love to.” He gently took her off his lap and went to get it. “Hey, Nat?”

“Yeah” she said, leaning back on the couch.

“Is this a new ultrasound picture? From your 24 week check-up?”

“Yeah, it is. Why?”

“It's just, he's so big.”

“Yeah he is.”

“The doctor said he's going to be bigger than normal, right?”

“Yeah, she said he is.”

He came back to the couch with the ice cream. “Here you go.”

She took it from him. “Thanks.”

“I thought you hated Captain Americone Dream?”

“I do, but all of a sudden I just had a craving for it.” She replied, “And it’s much better than Black Cherry Widow.” 

“Honestly this is such a cheesy name for ice cream, that we supposedly endorse.” 

“Speaking of cheesy, could you make me some instant mac ‘n cheese?”

“Of course, but mac ‘n cheese and ice cream?” He asked as he got back up.

“I don’t know. Pregnancy just makes all cravings weird.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Some really odd things, like pickles with peanut butter.”

“That's disgusting Nat!” He pulled away and made a face.

She laughed at his reaction. “No, trust me Steve. It was so good!”

“I don't trust your taste buds!”

“Whatever.” She scooped some ice cream onto the spoon and put it in her mouth. “Want some?” She used her spoon  
scooping another spoonful ice cream and put it near Steve’s mouth.

He opened up his mouth and she teased him, putting the ice cream into her mouth instead and laughed. “I’m just joking, here.” She got another scoop and put it in his mouth.

He was smiling as his mouth closed around the spoon.

“It’s good right?”

“So good.”

She tried grabbing the remote, but her belly was in the way.

Steve laughed at her attempt.

“Shut up Steve, I’m trying.” She said still reaching for it.

He leaned down and grabbed it for her. “Here.”

She took it from him, and gave him the side eye.

“What?”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

He gave her his sincere Steve look. “I'm not, you know I'd never make fun of you. I just thought it was cute.”

“Okay... sorry, I’m just really self conscious right now.”

“Why are you self conscious?”

“I’ve just gained a lot of weight.”

“And?”

“I’m just not used to feeling this big. Steve, I’m huge!”

“Natasha, you're pregnant.” He said genuinely not seeing why that'd make her self conscious.

“I know that.”

“So you're going to gain weight, that’s just how it goes.”

“I know, I’ve just gained a lot more than I expected to.”

“If anything, I think you're all belly, you've kept your figure otherwise, but either way, I don't care.”

“You promise?”

“It's me, of course I do.”

“Okay.” She smiled softly.

“You're beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She gestured for a kiss, and he kissed her lovingly. “Now we can go to bed, my back is killing me.”

“I’m sorry, you want a massage?”

“A massage sounds nice.”

“Okay. I need to take a shower, so go get ready for bed and I'll be out in a bit.”

“Okay.” She got up slowly.

Steve stood up and helped her up.

She took his hand. “Thanks.”

As Steve went into the shower Nat got changed and laid in bed waiting for him. He came out ten minutes later a towel wrapped around his waist. “You look comfy.”

“I‘ll be even more comfy once you lay next to me?”

“Lemme get some clothes on.” Steve said as he pulled on a pair of Nike sweats. 

“Alright, I’ll be waiting.”

“You still want a massage?”

“Yes, a massage is much needed.”

“All right.” He opened his legs and patted the bed between them. She scooted between him. 

“Can you rub my lower back?” She asked.

“Sure.” He said pressing his hands into her lower back.

“Ahhh, that feels so good.”

“Yeah?” He kissed between her shoulder bones.

“Yeah, thanks Steve”

“Of course.” He moved his hands up and down her back massaging it.

She moaned when he got a spot that had been bothering her.

“Right there?”

“That’s it.” She leaned her head back in the crook of his neck.

He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and smiled.

“Thanks, that’s good for the night.” She said and he kissed behind her ear.

She moved around in bed to get in a comfortable position to lay down. “Wanna spoon with me?” She asked when she was  
comfortable enough. “I know it might be hard because of the little guy inside me, but I haven’t got to do that with you in a  
while.”

“I'd love to.” He said and laid next to her and put an arm around her.

“This is nice.” She smiled.

“I missed doing this especially on the days when I couldn't sleep.

“Me too, I’m happy you’re back.”

He pulled her so her head was on his chest and rubbed her belly.

“Do you feel him moving?” She asked.

“Yeah, he's moving a lot tonight.”

“He’s very active tonight.”

“That’s because someone fed him ice cream for dinner.” 

“I’m tired of eating salad and you don’t ever cook.”

“That’s because you hate my cooking.” 

“You burn everything, but I still love it.”

“Whoa! That was a strong kick!” Steve laughed. 

“Yeah, and now I have to pee.”

Steve laughed and helped Natasha out of bed. 

“You know, he’s a handful.” Natasha said as she re-entered the bedroom. 

“Is he?”

“Yeah, big time, still doesn’t change the fact that I love him and can’t wait to meet him.”

“Me too. Sometimes I don't believe that I'm actually going to be a father.”

“Well, you already are a father.” She said somberly.

"I know…” He kissed her shoulder. “I promise I'll be a good dad. I'll love this little guy with everything I have. I’ll give him an extra special life. So we know we're not wasting our blessing.”

“After all, he’s our little miracle baby.”

Steve puts his hand over Nat’s. “He is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Company actually has a flavor called Americone Dream, I just added the word Captain in front of it. Because we all know from Infinity war that Hulk-A-Hulk-A-Burning Fudge and Stark Raving Hazelnuts can't be the only flavors.


	8. The Only Woman I Want By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Reading!

Steve sat on the floor in Natasha’s bedroom reading the instructions for building the crib. He was concentrating on reading each step carefully. There were pieces of the crib scattered all over the floor. Nat walked in with a hand on the underside of her belly. “Hey.” She said in her raspy voice trying to get his attention.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He said, his eyes still on the manual.

She had just woken up from a long nap on the couch. “A little better.”

“Good, I’m glad.” He tried to assemble a part of the crib together.

She laughed and sat on the bed, her bulging belly between her thighs.

“Are you laughing at me?” He asked with a grin.

“Yeah, you can do a lot of things effortlessly but furniture doesn't seem to be one of them.”

“There’s just a lot of information on safety stuff. You don’t want it to break with James inside, right?”

“No, I don't.”

He smiled softly and gestured to her belly. “Is he being good to mommy today?”

“Nope.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Unlikely.”

“What’s he doing that’s bothering you so much?”

“Kicking so hard, pressing on my bladder, just being an overall difficulty.”

“Sorry.” Steve said as kneeled down next to her. He placed a hand on her belly. “Hey buddy, be nice to mommy.” He asked gently.

James kicked in retaliation causing Natasha to gasp and she slowly stood up.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just have to pee for the one hundredth time.” She said irritated.

“Okay,” he said as she waddled to the bathroom. 

Steve sat on the floor and started to reassemble the pieces, parts scattered all over the floor. 

“Was there a tornado in here?” Natasha asked sarcastically when she re-entered the bedroom. “Have you given up?” She said bending down as much as she could to place a kiss on the top of his head. 

“No, of course not. When do I ever give up?”

She smiled at him and he smiled back. “Is it hard?”

“No, I should be finished soon.” He assured. “Did you still want to go shopping or not?”

“No, I'm not feeling up to it.”

“Nat, I know that fatigue is part of pregnancy, but I think you might want to go to the doctor. Your blood sugar has been high lately.”

“I'm fine, I just have to watch what I eat.”

“Nat, remember what your doctor said. You have to monitor your blood sugar and if it doesn’t go down you need to go back and see her.”

“It’ll go down.”

“Please, schedule an appointment. I’m worried about you.”

She sighed heavily. “I'm fine Steve!”

He shook his head, he didn’t want to argue with her and definitely not to take any of this personally. He knew that since her hormones were raging it was best if he just  
shut up.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He asked furrowing his brow.

“Shutting up.”

“Yeah.” He smiled. “I’m not exactly doing it for you. Honestly, I fear for my life when you’re angry.”

“You should.”

He smiled then finished building the crib. and exclaimed: “Done! Finally!” Only to realize that she was sleeping. Steve gently placed a blanket over her and kissed Natasha’s forehead, which startled her and she woke up abruptly. “Sorry did I wake you?”

“No.”

“I finished the crib.”

Natasha grabbed his arm to help her sit up and looked at the crib. “Oh wow, Steve that looks amazing.”

“When you’re ready, we can get the bedding set up.”

“Okay. Help me up, I have to use the bathroom.”

Steve sat on the bed and waited for her to come out. Moments later Natasha waddled out and sat next to him. “Hey beautiful.” He said while wrapping his arm around her. 

She leaned into him, and he placed a hand on her belly. “Is he behaving now?”

“No. Still going crazy. If this is any indication of how he'll be once he's born, we have our work cut out for us.” Nat smiled with her mouth closed, lips pursed together.

“I guess we will.” He smiled, “I want to thank you for this. I know it’s been rough on you, but you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her gently and she kissed him back lazily.

“Well, just two more months to go.”

“Yeah, two more. I'm ready for this to be over. I'm exhausted.”

“Why don’t you rest? I still have to put together the rocker and swing.”

“I just took a nap earlier and then fell asleep again.”

“Do you want me to give you a massage?”

“That'd be nice.”

“Back or feet?”

“Everywhere!” Natasha smiled.

“Okay, everywhere it is.” Steve started to rub her shoulders and kissed the back of her neck.

She sighed full of contentment as he massaged her aches away. “That feels so good.”

“I’m glad.” He smiled. “By the way, what were those classes you wanted me to take with you called again?”

“Oh, Lamaze.”

“When is it and what time was it at? I want to make sure I don’t have a meeting that day.”

“Next Tuesday at 4:00.”

“Okay, great. So what exactly do we do in that class?”

“You learn how to labor comfortably and effectively.”

“Alright, I see. It sounds very educational, especially for someone like me.” He laughed.

“It will be.” She said seriously. “It’s good, because it will teach me how to cope with the pain.”

“I’m sure you will be able to do whatever you need to.” He smiled. “It’s me I’m worried about. I just hope I don’t faint like some dads do when you give birth.” 

“You better not!” She laughed.

“You should know I’m easily queasy.” 

“So I should be worried about you fainting and throwing up?”

“Exactly.”

A week later Steve started painting the room they designated for their son earlier in the week. It was right across the hall from theirs but a little smaller. Steve coated the  
walls with light green paint and wrote JAMES in navy blue lettering. He built a few shelves and started to decorate with some stuffed animals when Natasha walked in,  
startling him because he was so focused on his art. 

“Oh Steve, it’s beautiful.” 

“Thanks.” He smiled and reached a hand out to her. 

She took it and walked closer to him. “I made something special for him, I hope you like it she said and placed a pair of red and blue booty high tops with a Captain  
America logo on them.

“I love it.” He smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek. “You’re getting pretty good at knitting.” 

She smiled. “Remember we’ve got Lamaze today, I don’t want to be late. So, come on time please.” 

“Okay.” 

“I don’t want to be one of those women whose husbands don’t show up.” 

“Yeah. I won’t let you be one of those...Wait, did you just...” He paused. 

“Did I what?” 

“Did you just call me your husband?” 

“No, I didn’t…” 

“You did.”

Natasha shook her head and walked out the room embarrassed. 

“Nat?” He followed after her. “Hey.” 

She turned around and stared at him with tears in her eyes. 

“Nat? What’s wrong?” He asked gently, she didn’t answer. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” 

She looked down. “For making a fool out of myself.” 

“Natasha,” he said softly and wiped a tear from her cheek. “I just thought you didn’t want to get married. When you told me you were pregnant I tried proposing, but you  
said you didn’t want to get married—”

“—Because we’re having a baby. I didn't want to get married just because we're having a baby. Steve there’s a difference, I don’t want you to marry me because I’m pregnant and it's the right thing to do. I want you to marry me because you love me.” 

“I do love you Natasha. I don’t just love you because you’re the mother of my child. I love you because you’re my best friend, my partner, the only woman I want by my  
side.”

Natasha smiled. “You know I’m not normally like this.”

“I know.” He smiled. 

“It’s just all the hormones.” They said in unison.

“Okay, so should I ask of you?” Steve asked. 

“Well, I would get down on one knee, but I won’t be able to get back up.” Natasha replied. 

Steve laughed. 

“Steve Rogers, will you marry me?” 

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not a traditional proposal, but I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


End file.
